


Secrets and Lies

by MoonlightBreeze



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Isabelle Lightwood, Coming Out, Communication, Difficult Decisions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e12 Malec, F/F, Family Feels, Good Sibling Isabelle Lightwood, I REGRET NOTHING, I'm a fan of Lysabelle now apparently, Lesbian Lydia Branwell, POV Isabelle Lightwood, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood, Tags Are Hard, Talking, have some femslash in honor of pride month, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24677032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightBreeze/pseuds/MoonlightBreeze
Summary: After playing her last hand with her brother, Isabelle turns to Alec's fiance in a last-ditch effort to save him from a life of lies. The conversation takes an unexpected turn when Lydia reveals that she is a lesbian.
Relationships: Lydia Branwell/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 10
Kudos: 30





	Secrets and Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! I've had this sitting in my Docs for a week or so, and I just got around to editing it and thought I'd post it. I'm down to nine prompts on Tumblr, the next of which will be out soon. It's hurt/comfort! (And really, really soft. I almost cried, and I don't cry.) This is Lysabelle, again, because I really like this ship now. I blame Zia.
> 
> I recommend listening to Rewrite The Stars from the musical, The Greatest Showman, if you want to enhance your reading experience. I promise it'll make this fic 100% more emotional.
> 
> Also, my italics abuse is terrible in this one. You've been warned.
> 
> I really hope you like this! Kudos make my day and comments validate my existence, so please feel free to leave those, if you want :) And as always, I hope you have a wonderful day/night!
> 
> ~ Em

Isabelle rapped on the door to the Head of the Institute’s office resolutely. She had played her last hand with Alec, but his fiance was a different matter.

“Come in!” Lydia called from somewhere within. 

Isabelle let herself in and took a seat in the chair facing Lydia’s desk. Lydia took her in with suspicion from where she stood by the fireplace, nursing a glass of whiskey. 

“Can I help you, Isabelle?” Her tone was not unfriendly, but Izzy could hear the undercurrent of caution that laced it. 

“Call off the wedding.” Isabelle wasted no time jumping in with her argument. 

Lydia sighed, long and heavy, like a schoolteacher that’d been forced to recite the same explanation over and over again. Izzy supposed, with as many people advocating for Alec as she suspected there were, that might not be entirely untrue. 

“You know I can’t do that,” Lydia said, staring into the depths of her glass.

“Yes, you can,” Isabelle gritted out through her teeth. “It’s as simple as telling Alec he can have the engagement ring back.”

“It isn’t,” Lydia replied in a testy voice. “I have to do this. _We_ have to do this.”

“No, you don’t!” Isabelle threw her hands in the air in exasperation. “Neither of you _have_ to do anything! You are your own person, so why don’t you _grow a pair_ and save Alec from - ” Izzy cut herself off, blushing. Alec would be furious if she accidentally revealed his secret to the woman he was planning on marrying. 

“From what?” Lydia asked dryly. “From a loveless marriage?” 

Isabelle looked at her critically, surprised. 

Lydia laughed derisively when she saw the look on Izzy’s face. “What, did you think I didn’t know?”

Isabelle was immediately defensive. “Know what?”

Lydia rolled her eyes. “Know that Alec’s gay,” she replied simply, taking a long drink of her whiskey. 

This revelation only angered Izzy further. “If you know, then how the hell can you even - ”

“This marriage has benefits for both of us,” Lydia replied sharply. “It’s a solid partnership.”

“A _solid partnership_ ,” Isabelle sneered. “If that’s what you really think marriage should be, you and I have very different views on the subject.”

“Of course it’s not what I think marriage should be!” Lydia snapped. 

“Then why are you doing this?!”

“Because I have to!” Lydia shouted. She was beyond angry now, and Isabelle half-expected her to chuck her whiskey glass at the nearest hard surface. “I want to run an Institute someday, Isabelle!”

Izzy softened. Alec, it seemed, was not the only one with personal stakes in the marriage. “Why do you need Alec to do that?”

“Please,” Lydia laughed humorlessly. “You didn’t strike me as the daft type, Isabelle.”

Izzy glared at her but said nothing, urging her to continue. 

“It’s hard enough for a woman to run an Institute at all,” Lydia said harshly. “Look at your parents. Robert is the Head of this Institute, but we both know Maryse is a better fit for the job. If I ever want to be Head of an Institute, I need to find a husband first.”

“But that’s not right,” Isabelle argued. “Can’t you see that? You shouldn’t have to find a husband in order to run an Institute!”

“It may not be right,” Lydia conceded, “but it’s just the way things are, Isabelle.”

Isabelle shook her head defiantly and rose from her seat to approach Lydia. “If something is wrong, you need to _change_ it. Don’t bend to their will! Show them you’re willing to take a stand!”

“You act like it’s so easy,” Lydia replied hotly. 

“I never said it was _easy_ ,” Isabelle retorted. “It’s the right thing to do!”

“Yes, well, sometimes the right thing to do isn’t the smart choice!” Lydia snapped. “This, marrying Alec, _this_ is a smart choice. With that caliber of a husband at my side, I could easily run an Institute. Alec would take over here, I would go somewhere else. We’d never see each other. It would leave both of us free to do whatever we wanted in the meantime.”

Izzy caught the insinuation behind Lydia’s words and shook her head. “No,” she said. “You don’t understand. Alec won’t do that.”

Lydia raised an eyebrow. “Alec won’t betray his marriage vows? Even if they’re complete shit?”

Isabelle recoiled at the older woman’s use of the swear. It was the first time she’d ever heard Lydia sound anything other than completely put-together and efficient. 

_A small sliver of humanity._

Izzy had to smile at that.

“I just assumed he would,” Lydia mused to herself, avoiding Isabelle’s gaze. “I assumed that, after we were married, he’d want to...to be himself.”

Realisation dawned on Izzy, and with it came a sadness so profound she almost wanted to cry. “You were ready to be cheated on.”

Lydia nodded numbly. “Of course I was.” She shook her head. “It’s like you said. He shouldn’t have to live a life of lies. He shouldn’t have to be faithful to a marriage where nothing’s there.”

Isabelle raised her eyebrow. “And you should?”

Lydia stiffened, rolling her shoulders back and taking another drink of her whiskey. “I don’t have a choice.”

“Yes, you do,” Isabelle persisted. “You _always_ have a choice.”

“Not here. Not with this.”

A heavy silence fell for a few minutes as Izzy tried to work out what she could say to change Lydia’s mind. She came up with nothing. 

Without warning, a spark of indignant anger flared inside of her and she turned to Lydia once more, her eyes flashing dangerously. “You know that Alec won’t cheat, now. Are you still going to go through with this marriage?”

“Yes,” Lydia replied. “It’s what he wants. He made that decision, not me.”

“Bullshit!” Izzy shouted. Lydia jumped, startled by her swear word and furious tone of voice. “He’s not thinking clearly! He’s fucking confused and scared and facing so much pressure right now, you have no idea. He’s head over heels for - ”

“For the High Warlock of Brooklyn,” Lydia said dryly. “So I’ve noticed.”

Isabelle narrowed her eyes. “If you honestly think - ”

Lydia held up a hand to calm her. “Rest easy, princess. I don’t care that he’s got his eye on a Downworlder.”

Izzy relaxed, if only fractionally. “Well, at least you have that going for you.”

Lydia’s mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “I’m not all bad.”

“That doesn’t change my mind about this,” Isabelle continued on doggedly. “How can you do this, especially now that you know Alec won’t practice any infidelity after the two of you are married?”

“Look, Isabelle,” Lydia said, moving to set her whiskey glass on the mantle of the fireplace. “I understand what your brother is going through. I really do. But that doesn’t change the fact that I - ”

“How could you possibly understand what Alec’s going through?!” Isabelle shouted. “You have no idea! You have no fucking _idea_ how hard this is for him, how much he - ”

“Yes, I do!” Lydia snapped, her eyes blazing. 

“Oh, really? How the hell could you even _begin_ to - ”

“Because I’m a lesbian!” Lydia blurted out. 

“Y-You’re what?” Isabelle took a step back out of shock. Lydia’s eyes widened as she realised what she’d said. She reached for Isabelle’s arm and dragged the other girl close to her, her ice-blue eyes wide and fearful. 

“You can’t tell anyone,” she said urgently. “Please, Isabelle, you _cannot_ tell anyone about this - ”

“Relax,” Izzy said, holding up a hand to stop what was, she was sure, the beginnings of a frightened ramble. “I’m not going to tell anyone your secret.”

Lydia let out a huge sigh of relief and released Isabelle’s arm from her harsh grip. “Thank you.”

Izzy snorted. “You hardly have to thank me. People who out someone without their permission are dicks.”

A faint hint of a smile tinted Lydia’s lips. “Agreed.”

They stood in silence for a minute or two, each wrapped in their respective thoughts. Isabelle wasn’t quite sure how to process the new information, but one thing she did know was that it didn’t change her opinion on what Lydia was doing. 

“If you’re a lesbian - ” Lydia choked on air when Isabelle said the word, “ - then you know better than anyone how wrong this is.”

“I never said it was right,” Lydia replied. “I _know_ it’s wrong. But what else am I supposed to do?”

“Marry a woman,” Isabelle replied without missing a beat. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Lydia rolled her eyes. “Yeah, to you, maybe.”

“The Clave is full of a bunch of old-timey morons with sticks up their asses,” Izzy stated unflinchingly. “Who cares what they think? You are who you are, and there’s nothing you can do that’ll change that.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Lydia snapped. She shook her head and picked up her whiskey glass again, staring into the depths of the russet liquid as though she hoped it might provide her with the strength she needed to finish this conversation. “I tried marrying a man once before, you know,” she muttered, more to herself than to Izzy. “And look how well _that_ went.”

“What happened to him?” Isabelle asked softly, moving closer to Lydia and placing a comforting hand on her arm. Lydia smiled and covered Isabelle’s hand with her own, interlacing their fingers. 

“He died,” she stated hollowly. “I told Alec the story of how, when I was convincing him to take Meliorn to the Silent Brothers.” Izzy stiffened, and Lydia took a minute to squeeze her hand reassuringly. “Which was wrong, I will admit. You were right to help him escape.”

Izzy smiled proudly. “Thank you.”

“Anyway, that’s not important,” Lydia said, shaking herself out of her stupor. She drained the rest of her whiskey and placed the empty glass on top of the mantelpiece again. “It taught me that I can’t change who I am. I never loved him, even when I thought I could.”

“Then you must know that marrying Alec won’t make you happy,” Isabelle said urgently. “A marriage to a man could _never_ make you happy.”

“You’re right,” Lydia mumbled, “but it’s not about my happiness. It never has been.”

“What do you mean?” Izzy asked, furrowing her brow. 

“I mean,” Lydia continued, “Even as a child, I knew that my duty to my family and the Clave would always supersede whatever personal desires might get in the way of that.” 

Isabelle rolled her eyes. “You know, that’s almost exactly the same argument I just heard from Alec.”

Lydia fell silent at that, chewing her bottom lip nervously. “I just - ” She broke off, looking uncertain. Isabelle squeezed her arm, urging her to continue. “Is it wrong for me to want to lead?” She gestured around herself at the office they stood in. “Is it wrong for me to want this all to myself? Is that selfish of me?”

“No,” Isabelle replied quickly. “No, it’s not selfish at all. Alec has always wanted to be Head of the Institute. Ever since he was little.” She broke off, smiling fondly. She gestured to the chair behind the desk and said, “When we were kids, he used to come in here all the time and sit in that chair. And Dad would come in and have to practically peel him out of it.” She laughed, but sobered quickly when she caught sight of the wistful expression on Lydia’s face. 

“My point is, you’re not alone,” Izzy pushed on. “You’re not wrong for wanting to be the one in charge. And you _deserve_ to be. You’re a good leader. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be sitting in a chair like that someday.”

Lydia raised her eyebrow. “I’m a lesbian.”

“And I’m bisexual,” Isabelle retorted fiercely. “So what?”

“You’re what?”

“I’m bisexual,” Isabelle replied without flinching. “And there’s not a damn thing wrong with me.” There was a challenge in her eyes, as if she was daring Lydia to say something out of line. 

Lydia pressed her lips together primly and removed Isabelle’s hand from her arm, going to stand at the plate-glass window across the room. She peered out over the city and deigned not to answer. 

“There’s _not_ ,” Izzy insisted, moving closer to her. “Lydia, look at me.”

Begrudgingly, the other woman did so. 

“There is nothing wrong with you,” Isabelle said, enunciating each word carefully. 

Lydia’s eyes filled with tears and she looked away, biting her lip to keep them from falling. “No one’s, ah, no one’s ever said that to me before.”

Izzy grinned widely. “Glad I could be the first.”

Lydia let out a watery laugh and a mumbled, “Yeah,” and turned her attention back to the window. 

“I know that, somewhere inside,” Lydia said softly. “I _know_ that I’m not wrong for who I love. But I-I just - ” She broke off, frustrated with her own inability to put her thoughts into words. “I-I mean, I’m just not sure what I..what I can even...I just can’t…”

Isabelle stepped forward into Lydia’s space, intending to put an arm around her or even give the woman a supportive hug. Then she was moving forward, and Lydia was looking down at her with some emotion Isabelle couldn’t identify shining in her eyes, and in the space of about two seconds, they were kissing.

Isabelle didn’t think she could remember anything that tasted quite as good as Lydia did. 

The scent of warm cookies and vanilla spice invaded her nostrils as she reached up to twine her arms around Lydia’s neck, tugging the other woman closer to her. Lydia sighed into her mouth and her hands found Isabelle’s hair, burying themselves in the dark strands. 

Isabelle wasn’t sure if it felt more like flying or falling, but she knew that she didn’t want it to end. 

When air started to become an issue, Isabelle reluctantly pulled away from Lydia, breaking the haze that they had been in during their kiss. 

Lydia immediately blanched. “I am so sor - ”

“If you’re about to apologise, don’t you _dare_ ,” Isabelle growled. She pulled Lydia to her by the lapels of her blazer and kissed her hard. It was short, but meaningful, and when Izzy pulled away, she could tell that Lydia had gotten the message. 

“I - why didn’t you say anything before?” Lydia asked. There was a wide, genuine smile on her face, and happiness looked so beautiful on her that Isabelle wanted to cry. 

“What good would it have done?” she asked. “I didn’t know you were gay until recently, and even then, it’s not like being gay is a one-way ticket to ‘liking the little sister of the man you’re about to marry.’” 

Lydia laughed a little. “Touche.”

“So, what about now?” Isabelle asked, raising a cocky eyebrow and smirking. “How are you feeling about going through with this wedding now?”

Lydia mock-glared at her. “You fiend.”

“Guilty as charged.” Izzy shrugged, uncaring. 

“I…” Lydia trailed off, the smile disappearing from her face. “I...I don’t know, Isabelle.”

Izzy grabbed her hand and interlaced their fingers, bringing their joined hands up to rest on her chest, just over her heart. “Do you feel that?” she whispered tremulously. 

“Your heart is racing,” Lydia replied. She seemed awestruck, like she couldn’t quite make sense of what was happening. “I - You really feel that way about me?”

Isabelle rolled her eyes. “Obviously. Would I have kissed you if I didn’t?”

Her words brought a soft smile to Lydia’s lips, but it was gone in a flash as she remembered the mess they were both in. 

“What will happen?” she asked quietly, speaking to no one in particular. “If we call off this wedding. What will happen? What will the consequences be?”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

With those words in mind, Lydia reached for her phone and began to text Alec, oblivious to the beaming smile that Isabelle was wearing as she read over her shoulder. 

Tomorrow was going to be a very interesting day; that much was certain.

**Author's Note:**

> [Stalk me on Tumblr](http://moonlight-breeze-44.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Prompts are open!
> 
> Want to embrace your inner chaotic fandom participant? Require somewhere to scream about Shadowhunters and other fandoms? Need writing advice, encouragement, or new friends? [Join our Discord server](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD) and find your place in a community of fandom-ers livin' it up! We welcome everyone, and we would love to have you. <3


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